On 29 September 2021 I posted:
I’ve been distracted with other projects but here we are stabbing the wee strawberry again. Not a euphemism.
We took Mum out for a coffee on Monday. Well she had a hot chocolate. She looked so thrilled when this enormous big cup and saucer arrived in front of her. I looked alarmed, wondering if she could manage it.
And then her muscle memory kicked in and she picked up the teaspoon and spooned spoonfuls of hot chocolate fluff from the top of her drink into her mouth. She did this so slowly, so precisely like she wasn’t really sure it was real.
But I’ve seen her do this so many times before. Such a simple pleasure, spooning the fluff off the top of your drink and feeling it melt on your tongue. I do it too, when I have a cappuccino. Always have. Never thought before now that I maybe learned this from Mum.
The giant cup reminded me of a childhood weekend treat we occasionally had, possibly only in the winter. Mum had two ENORMOUS cups and saucers, bought in a French flea market I think. And she would make café au lait (hot milk with instant coffee and sugar) and we would drink it out of these cups as big as our heads. I reminded Mum of this treat. But it’s gone, she couldn’t remember it. And that doesn’t matter. We enjoyed those times, she made them special. And I now thank her for that.
And the bonus pic is the view looking west from Carrick Shore, at breakfast time on Sunday.
I loved that moment of joy with Mum, watching her spoon the fluff off the top of her chocolate. And, having recognised it as something I had instinctively learned from her, I notice it and recall this pleasure every time I sit in a café and drink a frothy coffee.
Small pleasures. We should try to notice them, to capture them each day.
Tonight I’m attending the JustGiving Fundraiser of the Year Awards at the Roundhouse in London. I shall wear a frou frou frock and will accessorise with a rather fabulous beaded bag which Mum used to use. I’m a finalist in the Creative Fundraiser of the Year category; for the Taking Smock of the Situation Project. You all know of the love that went into each and every stitch, the stories that they unleashed. Perhaps the most unexpected outcome was the outpouring of support I received through it, often from strangers. That support and love is for every one of us who has experience of dementia.
Today I could not be prouder (or more surprised). I feel like a winner just being recognised and shortlisted for the final.
I’ll let you know how it goes – probably on Instagram first of all, so do check me out there if you’re interested.
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Thank you for reading this.
If you want to read more about my relationship with Mum and her dementia, then you could start here at Taking smock of the Situation. Or just dip in. After all, if I’ve learned anything this last few years it’s that chronology and time are less important than we might believe.
Finally, if it’s not too much to ask (I know, it is, apologies) I would really appreciate it if you could make a donation towards Alzheimer Scotland. They’re doing stuff that makes living with this more bearable for so many people. Thank you, thank you, a thousand thank yous.
Shewolfinthevalley 
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