She’s gone

On Wednesday afternoon Mum’s whole room was filled with birdsong (from the magic gizmo in the corner). It was as though she was surrounded by the birds she loved.

I sat with her and as I was telling her how much she is loved, she left us. Just quietly, no fuss.

I had dreaded this moment for so long, I should have known she would teach me that it was OK, that it could be done with grace.

I miss her badly. And it seems inevitable that I will start writing again, about grief, about the crashing waves of it after the four years of chronic anticipatory grieving. There is also the calm, the ability to exhale again after all those years of holding my breath, in dreadful anticipation. And of course I’m also already thinking about how to chart this stage of grief through the medium of embroidery, but we’ll leave that for another day.

For now though, let’s take a moment to remember this strong woman who wasn’t just the world to me, she was the whole fucking universe.

Alexandra Lorna Wolffe nee Graham, 1931 – 2025.

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Thank you for reading this.

Mostly I blog about my relationship with Mum and her dementia, so if that might be your thing, then you could start here at Taking smock of the Situation. Or just dip in. After all, if I’ve learned anything this last few years it’s that chronology and time are less important than we might believe.

Do get in touch if you have any questions or comments – I love to hear from you my lovely readers.

Tags: death, dementia, mum, Mum Has Dementia