On 28 August 2021 I wrote
Me!
By @maximumwolffe a couple of months ago when we were in Gatehouse.
Tomorrow I’ll be another year older, so today we celebrate still being this young!
Birthdays.
For years I’ve thought that I should be celebrating Mum on my my birthday each year. I just happened along, like some side effect of all the work she’d put into carrying me for 9 months. Plus an extra two weeks. Mum was most unhappy about that extra two weeks, and I’ve known all my life that I was two weeks late – it feels like such a part of my identity, and although I like to be punctual, I know that I have used it as an excuse over the years if ever I have been late for things. And as I type this I realise how utterly mad that sounds. But yes, I was late arriving from the very start.
Of course I don’t remember much about my start in life.
I do remember a sense of always trying to catch up, or else being very grumpy that I couldn’t. I guess this is what happens when you are the youngest of three children, all born within three years.
Mum though, Mum was so very clever at treating us equally – one of her catchphrases which we all use to this day is “It’s not a competition”.
I suspect this innate desire Mum had to make us all feel equal came from her own memories of childhood, before her youngest sister was born, and the three girls were described as: Jennifer, the beautiful one, Joyce the clever one, and Alix the middle one.
In Mum’s eyes we were all three clever and talented and funny and creative and would find our way in the world. And she was right, we have done. And I am forever grateful for the (mostly unspoken) love that she has showed us throughout our lives.
***
Mostly on this blog I write about trying to care for Mum as she developed dementia, which nearly broke me on a number of occasions. Gentle meditative stitching the Fisherman’s Smock probably saved me, giving me a focus and forcing me to carve out time when I could let everything go and just concentrate on those tiny stitches. I would really appreciate it if you could make a donation towards Alzheimer Scotland. They’re doing stuff that makes living with this more bearable for so many people. Thank you, thank you, a thousand thank yous.
And if you want to read more about my relationship with Mum and her dementia, then you could start here at Taking smock of the Situation. Or just dip in. After all, if I’ve learned anything this last few years it’s that chronology and time are less important than we might believe.
Shewolfinthevalley 