Mum’s Escape Day

20 Jan

On 20 July 2021 I wrote

Well that’s been quite the day!

I went for a much needed swim late this afternoon, the tide was out, far out but that was fine. The sea was almost as warm as the Scottish sun and I floated on my back and splashed my feet in the salty water. Nearby a heron stood watching everything… occasionally poking its head into the water and coming up with a snack.

Then I sat on my usual rock and stitched. And breathed in that fresh salt air.

First thing this morning I sewed more name labels on to Mum’s clothes. I’d emptied out her chest of drawers, and chosen her capsule wardrobe. The chest of drawers and a holdall of clothes was ready to go. We removed favourite pictures from the walls of her home.

And then I took a Covid test. I’m Covid-free. Phew.

Because today of all days I could not have Covid.

Today is Mum’s Escape Day.

She arrived, by ambulance, just after I got to the care home to get her room ready. Her chairs and the bed have familiar throws over them; her old chest of drawers is in the corner; there are vases of flowers from her garden.

She thinks she will be fine there. I think so too.

I needed that swim.

20 January 2023 and as I re-read those words I wrote exactly 18 months ago, tears pricked at my eyes, and I could feel a first sob try to escape from my throat. I’ve put the sob back, but the tears are gently falling.

No more to add today, except to say that yes, she has been fine there, and she continues to be so. And, as I was told on that first day, I have been able to go back to being ‘just a daughter, not a daughter and a carer’ again.


Finally, if you want to catch up on how we got to this point, this series of posts starts here, with Taking Smock of the Situation, an embroidery project I started after I realised Mum might have dementia. There I was, embroidering her old fisherman’s smock with symbols relating to her life; meanwhile her memories were being thrown around like so many pieces of jigsaw in a big box.

Not in the mood for this? That’s ok. But if you feel like a bit of cooking or baking, perhaps making use of the short Seville oranges season to make some delicious marmalade then you could check out my recipes here. This blog started out as recipes, sometimes accompanied by wee stories, so I’ve got a back catalogue of tasty things to make. Do let me know if you’d like me to add more recipes in the future – I had an ambition to make a carers cookbook a couple of years ago… perhaps some day.

2 Responses to “Mum’s Escape Day”

  1. Neil January 20, 2023 at 10:35 pm #

    The writing is definitely changing. Nothing unnecessary.



  1. Taking Smock of the Situation | Shewolfinthevalley - January 23, 2023

    […] Escape Day […]


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: